A little lesson from my friend Pooneh
Preparing (and delivering!) a meal for somebody else—whether they’re managing a seasonal cold or fighting covid—is a radical act of love.
But sometimes, it’s hard to receive that kind of help when you’re the one on your back.
Chris and I have spent the last week holed up, battling fevers, and guzzling water. One of my business mentorship clients, a beloved FOOD LA LA COOKING CLUB guest, and now dear friend, Pooneh of Mon Reve Chocolates, unexpectedly gave a clinic on how to deliver dinner to a friend in need. And I realized, my ability to easily receive this kind gesture was directly linked to how she executed her beautiful offer.
She messaged:
Dear Lindsay, how are you feeling? Hope your symptoms aren’t too bad. I will be delighted to drop off dinner for you guys! Will tomorrow work for you?
My first reaction was to deflect it:
You’re too much! You do NOT need to do that!!! Thank you so much but we are just drinking water for dinner!
But wait—she didn’t even ask if she could drop off dinner. She just asked me which date! I quickly slipped into receive mode. And a homemade dinner magically showing up on our doorstep sounded so very nice. Plus, from her sweet text, I knew she really was excited to do it (the same way I feel when I have the chance to take care of somebody I love).
So the next time you want to help a friend in need, try following Pooneh’s gracious three-text offer that simply can’t be refused:
#1 The Ask: Only offer if you have the time and resources to actually execute, then offer with directedness and JOY! I loved how Pooneh didn’t really give me a chance to say no. When you reach out to a friend in need, share that you’d love to make them dinner and suggest a few specific dates you could bring it by. “Let me know a few dates…” is more passive and the recipient is less likely to feel as comfortable receiving.
#2 The Menu: Pooneh did three things that I loved! She asked about sensitivities/aversions, gave us two menu options, and reassured me that both were “super easy to make”. Asking about aversions is such a great touch because though we might not be allergic, we all have foods that are a no-fly zone (for me it’s bananas, weird I know, and for Chris it’s mushrooms), and the person cooking wants to make something you’ll LOVE and not have to pick through.
#3 The Delivery: She texted to confirm a thirty-minute window and was on our doorstep with an ear-to-ear grin and a mountain of food almost too big for her arms. Each dish was in a tin container (that we didn’t need to return to her) so we could have easily popped it in the oven, but somehow it was piping hot on arrival and we got to dig in immediately (Pooneh are you magic?!) She also texted to share some details of the delicious feast she had made for us. And obviously, dessert was included because it’s her (and how did she know my) love language, and because no matter how sick you are, you’re never too sick for dessert.
So if you have a friend in need, skip the “let me know how I can help!” and borrow Pooneh’s three texts to share some love of the best kind: food.